The Only Thing I'll Say About Being Laid Off

You think you can handle being laid off until you actually do.

By now, in 2023, we’ve all heard at least a story or two of someone we know being laid off & them making the most of that situation. Maybe they used it as an opportunity to take freelancing more seriously, start a business, pivot their career, or just take a meaningful break that changed their perspective on work and life.

I’ve heard so many of them too. I love these stories. They made me understand that layoffs are not the worst thing in the world, especially for someone like me who’s competent & proactive. Getting another job (if I needed to) would be super easy.

I honestly would joke that it would be so cool if I was laid off. Until I actually did.

Exactly a year ago, I got on a quick meeting with the founder of the startup I was working at who took a while to get to the point but eventually let me know that they were downsizing & I was a part of that.

For someone who thought being laid off could not affect them, I left that meeting in tears, shut the laptop with shivering hands & had a very telling first thought; “What will people say?”

Even later that night, when I was an uncontrollable mess, my partner after hours of consoling me ventured into dangerous territory by asking me “what’s actually the big deal though? You were going to quit anyway, you know you want to freelance, you have clarity on that direction, you don’t have a lot of expenses, so what’s the problem?”

“Yes, but tomorrow if I meet someone new, what do I introduce myself as?”

For many people, a job loss impacts their financial situation. But for me, I lost my identity. And to be honest, I’m yet to find it.

Whether you go on a date, a wedding, meet mutual friends, or even move into a new house. The very first question they ask you (trust me, I’ve counted) is ‘So, what do you do?’

It takes a lot of confidence for that answer to be anything other than “I work as a _____ at ______”

Even now, when I’ve worked with clients from all around the world, and have made more in a month than I made my entire first year of employment, people still treat it like all I do is sit at home, type a few things on my laptop, use my microphone for fun & call it a day.

I didn’t just lose my job, I lost my place in society

Is my story also similar to the countless others who’ve made the most out of getting laid off to finally create a life they love? Yes

That’s the story I thought I would write today as I celebrate 1 year of being self-employed. An ‘underdog to hero’ story, share it across the Internet & hope that everyone who thought that I stopped working the day I lost my job, reads it.

But that’s extremely self-serving. It doesn’t help anyone new. There are many stories like that if someone needs inspiration.

Yes, my story is that but my story is also that a part of me got lost the day I got laid off.

The part that is confident.

The part of me that makes it easy for my parents & in-laws to explain to people what I do.

The part that could’ve considered applying for a joint home loan along with my partner when we were thinking of buying a house.

The part that listens to my friends talk about their scandalous office parties and has something to contribute.

The part that used to get asked how work is or how long my commute to the office is whenever my partner got asked the same.

The part that can still talk about my time working at a company without worrying whether people are wondering ‘if she was good at her job, why did she get laid off?’

The part that never questioned if I indeed was good at my job.

(Luckily I have this completely non-templatized email to show people that I indeed was a valuable member of my organization.)

The part that was looking forward to the day I could walk into the office & quit my job on my own terms because it was the right time to go into freelancing full time.

The part that doesn’t have ‘got laid off’ as part of my story.

The part that gets easy acceptance in our world.

One 12-minute meeting took so much away from me.

I will spend the rest of my life talking about how losing my job is the best thing that ever happened to me but today I will talk about how not having a job has impacted my life.

I am positive it gets better with time. As my insecurity decreases and the world understands. I will personally be a part of the change that makes the notion of employment and self-employment the same.

Being on this path takes an immense amount of sacrifice. In many ways, it’s easier to just have a job. But in so many more ways, it’s so much harder.

But it shouldn’t be hard just because it’s different from what others have.

Why should losing a job be more significant than losing a client?

It’s not a status. It’s just an event.

And maybe one day it won’t deserve a whole article.