It’s been a few weeks since I made a trip out of my house to come attempt to write this newsletter at a cafe.
And this too is only happening because I’m meeting someone here today.
But as I sip my cranpresso coffee & eat my tomato stracciatella sandwich, I feel grateful.
And gratitude is not something I have felt in quite some time.
When I first became self-employed, gratitude (and a healthy dose of fear) was available in abundance.
I couldn’t believe what my life looked like.
That no one would ever be able to tell me to come into an office.
That I would never have to ask for time off.
That I didn’t have to work in the mornings, which I always hated.
That I could make as make as much or as little money as I wanted.
That I could speak about whatever I wanted to online.
It was everything I dreamt it would be & more.
And somewhere along the way, I lost that joy. I forgot about the freedom.
When the dust settles, we do what we know.
And what we all know, is what weekdays are ‘supposed’ to look like.
I wake up & feel guilty that I haven’t started working.
I sit at my desk pretending to do work.
I feel bad if I make less money one month compared to the previous one.
I reply ‘Work is fine, whatever’ when someone asks about it.
I go out on the weekeneds just to be stuck in traffic & long lines.
And sometimes, when I write online about how great self-employement is. I feel a little like an impostor.
Because sometimes I ask myself, “Is it really so great?”
I’m lonely, I’m bored, I dont know what’s next for me & I have far fewer new experiences everyday compared to my partner who has a job.
So, why not just get a job? What am I fighting so hard to be self-employed for?
And in that question is where a big caveat of self-employement lies.
That there’s a lot we sacrifice to be self-employed.
Stablity
Validation from society
Some weird employee perks
Uncomplicated finances
We don’t give all that away for nothing in return, do we?
It’s so we can live exactly how we want to.
Why then live exactly the way we’ve been told to?
If you don’t regularly take advantage of what this type of life let’s you do, it will stop making sense. Both to you and the ones around you.
If you don’t give yourself daily moments to stop and think ‘Wow, this is exactly what I worked so hard for’, you will forget why you chose this type of life.
And the next time you’re at a social event & everyone’s talking about their bonuses & office parties, you will have a moment where you ask yourself ‘why isn’t anything good happening in my life?’
It’s because you aren’t making it happen. And you’re the only one who can make it happen.
Surviving on this particular ‘work’ path has so much more to do than making sure you’re making money.
It’s far more important to keep giving yourself reasons to continue doing something that seems hard.
You have to keep yourself happy by doing the things that make you happy.
Always remeber why you wanted to work for yourself & fulfil those wishes every single day.
Work from random places at random times.
Go to places that are popular on weekdays when they aren’t crowded.
Meet as many random & interesting people on random days.
Show up for people because you have the luxury of moving things around if needed.
Meet family often.
Take up different types of work & follow every single curiosity.
Say the worst things about your industry online because you have no one to fear.
And when you do each of these things, you will have a milisecond of gratitude. It’s in this moment that your brain understands yet again that you can do whatever you want because the only person you are answerable to is yourself.
Our brains need micro doses of gratitude to keep going.
And the only success on this path is to keep going.
“I’m lonely, I’m bored, I dont know what’s next for me & I have far fewer new experiences everyday compared to my partner who has a job.” This really spoke to me! Thank you for writing this - reading your content is like a salve for the little burns of entrepreneurship! Keep it coming!
Brilliantly put.