Self-employment Week: 82
I got offered a really cool opportunity this month.
A chance to be the first employee to help build a product that I had no idea I was even so passionate about.
I left that first conversation with the founder ready to start right away.
Getting to build something big.
Work with smart people
Learning from a founder with a proven record of building good companies.
See, my biggest problem with my self-employment life is feeling like I’m not doing more.
I have so much free time and I don’t feel like I’m doing anything with it.
I constantly feel like I should be meeting more people, pursuing more hobbies, writing more online, getting more clients, or traveling to more places.
And someone came along and gave me a way to fill my time.
That’s why I believe I was ready to start right away when I was offered this role.
Because for the first time in 2 years, someone told me they'd tell me how to fill my time and I felt relieved.
There are so many decisions to be made when you work for yourself.
What do you work on?
How much do you work?
How much is that worth?
What do you do when you’re not working?
Who do you choose to spend time with?
How long can you travel for?
And you never get a break from it.
So, getting to work on something bigger than myself sounded great. Not having to make decisions sounded great. Not being responsible for all the metrics of success sounded great.
So, thinking about everything I was gaining made me take a really hard look at everything I had lost since being self-employed.
I felt so guilty to even think this way because I talk so much about loving this life.
But lately, I have seen a lot of people forgo this life.
They get a job, enroll in a degree, or join a business as a co-founder.
Because working for themselves became too lonely.
It was too uncertain.
It sometimes felt too small.
So they stopped. They stopped being just self-employed and looked for something more.
I have felt that a lot, the desire for more.
And this opportunity felt like I would be able to have more.
So, I accepted it.
And after I had, I sat down on the couch to inform my partner and I had a moment.
A moment where I saw myself at that exact point in time. Sitting on my couch, watching TV at 4 pm on a Monday. I looked beside me and I saw my partner folding our laundry while our cats sniffed the fresh clothes.
And I realized I might never have this moment again. I might never be able to do nothing at 4 pm on a Monday ever again.
I was so busy thinking about everything I would gain that I didn’t give the importance that it deserved to everything I would lose.
They tell us to aspire to greatness.
To have a large impact.
To create generational wealth.
To build big products.
With really smart people.
No one ever tells you to aspire to a life where you and your partner do nothing at 4 p.m. on a Monday.
But that’s just as hard to achieve and just as valuable to have.
To be able to spend an absurd amount of time with my pets
To never be behind on my errands.
To never ever miss a social event with friends and family,
To take naps, breaks, and live a slow life.
That’s not a vision that gets a lot of people excited quite like the vision of building a big business.
But this is actually a damn good life.
And I forget. Until I almost give it away.
I always say that anyone can go back to the default path in a second. It takes a day to undo everything. It’s happened to me many times. When you’re in it, you don’t realize that’s what you’re doing.
My life looks really easy but when something like this gets offered to me, I realize it’s also a little hard. And I’m quick to let someone take away the hard stuff for me.
Give me some status.
Give me a cool office.
Give me some equity.
Give me a fancy title.
Something to brag to my friends about.
But all that would make my life a thousand times harder than the things I call hard now.
This is why the only success on this path is being able to stay on it for one more day.
And today, I achieved success. I continue to be self-employed for one more day.
Can definitely relate to this. 11 years ago, after working for 2 years as an independent designer, I joined a startup as their second employee after they reached out. All these years later, I'm still a bit baffled as to why I gave up what I'd built so quickly. I was doing quite well financially, had several great clients, and had total freedom of where and when I worked. Odd.
Thanks Shamika for sharing this. I'm self employed and feel like I don't do enough or not upgrading with the industries best practices. For the context i graduated this year in June and my friends are into jobs. I feel kinda unemployed though I make money by providing service but that's kinda not structured and it's so uncertain to be working the whole month. Also missing out on all the office parties and mostly making new friends is concerning rn and lonely tbh. Don't know what lies ahead. Hoping for the best.